Utillatub!!!!

Happy election day! I got the job at joann's (allegedly)! They've made me an offer, but the software won't let me accept it until it gets approved by some manager who's on PTO. It's really pissing me off, i just want to start working. I got nominated for job training at a garment mill my school partners with, so i want to have the joann's thing in line before i meet with them. The meeting with them got moved to tomorrow, so i'm not sure i'll be able to though. I'm writing this at 11 am est, and my bet is that trump will win the election. My hope if this is the case is that it'll be a hoover type situation and the next election will bring a candidate that goes in for massive social/labor reform. It's unlikely, but i will keep dreaming.

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10/26/24

I finally got an interview at joann fabrics! i really hope they hire me because if they don't its got to mean i'm totally unemployable. i've got the experience and a degree in fashion and retail, so if i don't get the job there must be something really wrong with me. My speech class i have to take has been going good, even though it's a lot of work, but ever since the teacher switch my program went through, it's sort of thrown me off. the two teachers have really different teaching styles, and the switch happened right in the middle of a whole class group project. My goal for this week besides the interview is to watch some scary (not too scary because i'm a little bitch) movies in the spirit of halloween!

10/15/24

Been sort of sad lately, but my mom is coming to visit tomorrow! my speech class just started and she's giving us like two essays a week which seems really excessive. i'm going to go to my club meeting tomorrow and pack a ton of food and everything i want for essays/laundry and then head to my grama's after to wait for my mom to get in. My plan is that i'll be so bored i'll do the essays. Its finally getting cold here, its supposed to get down to 33 tonight. i might have to turn on my heat but i really don't want to. i keep falling asleep with the window open and it already had me slightly sick all last week, so i should try to stay warm. i want to go clothes shopping soon, or at least get thermal leggings or something so i can have stuff to wear when it gets cold.

10/06/24

Starting new class tomorrow! today was my cousin's birthday party, and it was pretty fun. we just ate kroger sushi and saw some family. I started crocheting a shawl for my mom for christmas, and i also watched the stepford wives. I liked it, but i thought it ran a little long. Domestic horror stuff really scares the shit out of me though. i'm skipping my daily beautiful walk tonight in favor of hopefully going to bed early. i already ironed my dress for tomorrow, so i shouldn't be too rushed in the morning either. I have no clue what i'm going to make for dinner though, so that may keep me up later. My grama says we might go to parkersburg after my class tomorrow, i hope so, otherwise i'll just come home and linger.

10/03/24

Guys, today was my finals for my business and illustration classes. I didn't start my illustration final until last night at 10 pm (i did this for every assignment in that class and never learned) so i'm heartbreakingly tired. I had like 3 hours of sleep and everything was spinning when i ddrove to school. The illustration presentation went great, but i was really worried about my business final, since it was a store proposal we were making to several representatives from our respective companies. I was scared because one of the guys in our group waited until the last minute to do his part and then was trying to make last minute changes the other group members didn't want. it was sort of a competition between two groups, and our group won! i was so scared the whole time that i'm having like a massive adrenaline dump now that i'm home. not ideal since i still have a bunch of written finals to submit. i'm going to try to do them right now in the afternoon so i don't fall asleep.

9/28/24

Truly miserable day today!!!! woke up early because i left the window open, then washed my hair and got ready for a job interview at lowes. I honestly have no clue how it went. it seemed like it went well but the interviewer seemed upset about my availability (everyday except for mondays and thursdays?!) and said something like "yeah we keep all applications on file for 30 days in case something opens up" which is a weird thing to say for someone whose job posting said "urgently hiring". idk i have so much trouble reading people when it comes to stuff like this.
Then when i went home, there was no parking since it's homecoming weekend, so everyone's partying on my street. i decided to try to find the dairy factory i'm interviewing at on tuesday so i know where it is, and apparently gps doesn't get service out there! i never did find it, so i'll write myself a set of instructions on paper and try again tomorrow or monday. still no parking when i got back, had to park 7 blocks away. bought a nice lotion to make myself feel better. it smelled really bad even though i like the spray version of the scent.

9/25/24

woke up early today even without class because i fell asleep with all my windows open again. i've been working on assembling my grocery list in preparation for the first. but i'm actually going to the grocery store on the second, because i got two job interviews and one of them is on the first.
i have an interview at lowes on saturday, and an interview at a dairy factory on tuesday. i'm excited, and at the moment, i'm the most excited for the milk job. i'm kind of getting scared for my interviews because in professional situations, i feel like i either go robot mode or try so hard to be relaxed and easygoing that it ends up being very offputting lol. I'm also so scared of dress codes because i feel like i can never interpret them correctly.

i'm looking for more recipies i can try, and i've assembled a list of foods i'd like to try, but not cook myself because i want my first time trying them for them to be cooked by someone who knows what they're doing. list so far is: Paneer Makhani, Oxtail, Chicken vindaloo, Cauliflower, Veal, Scallops, and Squirrel. For some reason everyone i've ever asked has tried squirrel and says it's pretty good lol. been listening to me and my friend's shared spotify playlist and feeling restless.

9/23/24

Class felt sooooo long today. i was looking at recipies on pinterest the whole time. for some reason my pinterest only loads a few pictures on each scroll while i'm on the computer? it's probably because my computer is ancient and just giving up.

me and my friend dyed a bunch of tshirts for textile class tomorrow since our professor wanted 8 of them dyed and only four of us actually dyed any. usually i wouldn't give a shit if people don't get their stuff done but the dean is coming to observe our class tomorrow and it would be embarrassing if my professor got all pissy at us during that.

I've wanted to make some hot chocolate for awhile now. i got some fancy mix and i have heavy cream and caramel so it will be sooooo good. i want to wait until it gets a little colder but it might get down to 50 tonight. i've also thought about bringing it to class, but half the fun of drinking hot chocolate is dipping buttered toast in it. i also think i'll shit myself if i drink that much milk in class.

9/22/24

Happy first day of fall (still 85 degrees rn) everyone! started my day like usual by prepping muffins for the whole week. i'll probably eat them all by wednesday then be mad. i need to find some new muffin ideas besides blueberry and pumpkin. i tried raspberry recently and it tasted like straight Emergen-c. i recently discovered the discover station apple music makes for you, but it's gone sort of dry for no reason. all day i look at recipies and get mad because i want to make them but i can't until i go to the grocery store. i know that once i actually go to the grocery store i'll see half the shit on the list and be like okay nevermind.

i've been able to park out front everyday this month which is super hype because i had to park six blocks away all last year, which was okay when i had classes at 12:30 but i have classes at 8 now so i need closer parking. i'm wondering about the empty lot right off my backyard. sometimes a car parks there in like the mouth of the alley. i'm going to try to find out who owns it and try to bargain to park there.

my mom is going to visit soon sometime at the start of october. i'm super excited to go halloween shopping with her! i haven't bought any decorations yet because i'm going to use the genius money saving strategy of waiting for her to get here so she'll buy stuff for me. I've started working on my final for my textiles class, and if i don't totally fucking hate it, i'll probably post a picture of it here once it's done.

muffins

oh no i hope no one smells the scent of muffins wafting in the breeze and then their feet leave the ground and they float over to my window! that would be terrible

i made pretty good time in my big weekend assignment, which was surprising since i usually leave it to the last minute! Mostly it was because i honestly thought it was due today, but it's actually due tomorrow, and i found that out seconds before i wrote this lol.

I'm pretty unsatisfied with my dinner prospects for tonight. I'm almost out of groceries at the end of the month, so i think i'll make balsalmic potatoes, but i don't really want to. I have a pretty limited rotation of recipies tbh, but i'm trying to branch out. maybe i should start a recipie page on this site, it would be great for me since i always lose my recipies after writing them down. okay yeah i added it.

girl is that a pie in your window

9/21/24

Hiiiiiiii! I forgor about this page again. I'm so ready for fall. Its window open at night season for sure, but even though it's in the 50s and 60s at night it's still in the 80s and 90s during the day. I want to go to the grocery store sooo bad but i'm trying to wait for the first.

i'm afraid i've gotten into star wars again. Big downside i've discovered (besides the inherent downside of being a star wars fan) is that for some reason whenever i interact with something i was autistic about in elementary school i get this deep sense of dread for no reason. idk why but it's really raining on my parade tbh. anyway, i say star wars fan, but i really only like the prequels and clone wars lol. but enough about that lame stuff, i'm actually failing my business class just because of pure laziness! i really need to lock in and do two or three very simple assignments i've missed but i don't want to.

i also want a new job soo bad (curse of unemployment) but i want to wait until one of the guys from my class graduates in october to see if i can get his job at the school. If i can't then i'll go crazy on indeed. to be so real for a minute, i've been thinking of going back to therapy even though i've never enjoyed therapy ever in my life. idk why and i can't find any therapists that do autism stuff with people over 12. I probably won't go because i just have never been to one who does anything besides talk to me (i can do that with people for free) or make me fill out worksheets i did in elementary school. i'll think about it more though.

5/7/24

it seems that consistency isn't really my strongsuit lol. i'm hoping to be updating a little more.

some personal/website updates: I just finished my first year of college! i'm going for a fashion degree. i've also changed one of the site's pages (tastycomputer) to a page to archive all of the magazine scans i've been doing.

3/3/23

pretty good day! my classes were good, and i assembled a beading loom! i'm really excited about it, because i've been taping string to a pencil box to bead on before, and using the actual loom is sooo much easier!

recently, i've been rewatching all the hitchcock movies i've seen. i don't really ever watch movies, but i've been on a role lately! My favorite from this watchthrough is either rope or rear window.

2/20/23

really nice out today! around 45-50 all weekend. i ordered some lip gloss online, along with some video games, and they should be here later this week. i'm really excited!

had dinner with a friend yesterday, and when i was getting ready to go, my favorite pair of pants had shrunk in the wash :( . i ended up giving them to a friend though, so at least they aren't going to just waste away somewhere!

2/13/23

pretty good day today! my birthday was on saturday and my friend gave me this cute bag today as a present!

2/5/23

i had a great day today! i bought some makeup from jewel osco, because i've been wanting to put makeup on for a while now, since i never learned.

my biggest problems with putting makeup on is that my hands are really shakey and my vision is so bad that i can't really see what's going on. i should probably get a magnifying mirror and practice more.

2/3/23

i hope it doesn't get to the point where my nose is completley congested because that would totally freak me out. i'm so scared of colds that i'd rather have the stomach flu for two weeks than a cold for three days.

2/1/23

my friend got a bunch of free chocolate from her job, and we all had some while studying which was fun. but when i walked home after the wind was so awful!

1/30/23

it's a little over a yard wide, and its probably going to take me at least a year to finish.

1/25/23

made a photography page! been having a lot of trouble focusing on schoolwork, but today i was able to finally buckle down and study for a big test i have tomorrow. I hope i do ok but i've already made my peace with failing it.

i forgot to return my library books and now they're overdue :( hopefully i'll remember tomorrow and if i don't hopefully i come back to edit this page, see this, and then remember.

1/24/23

felt a little sick latley, but feeling much better now! got a new ps1 game, fear effect! i saw it for way cheaper than usual at half price books, and decided to grab it! it looks really fun! can't wait to play it!

i really want to start it now, but i have a few games i've been meaning to finish for a while now i should get through first. one day i'll finish you, silent hill 2 and goldeneye 007...

1/21/23

i've been really into taking pictures of pretty landscapes! i sort of like the whole empty field thing, but there aren't a lot of empty fields near me. here are some of the pictures though.

i'm thinking of maybe creating another page on this site for photography. It makes me happy taking pictures, even if i don't do it as seriously as some of my friends.

1/20/23

i haven't been able to play any source engine games on my computer for about a year now, because they just won't launch, even after trying every trick from every guide. it sucked real hard, but today i had a file issue with a game my friend wanted to play with me, and the help page told me to download directx to fix the problem. it didn't only work for that game (which sucked and lagged so bad it was unplayable on my computer), but also on the other games!

1/19/23

bought a banjo! been playing banjo for around two years now and my rental expired.

i was going to buy just a normal banjo, but then i saw this big ol beast pictured below (not kermit). i still want to get a normal five string at some point because i like the high sound as well as the low. fretless would also be cool.

the noise is really deep and full. i sort of miss the higher noise tho and my capo won't fit :(

1/18/23

decided to make a neocities page because it looked cute. i don't know anything about html, i only know some python.

started playing Hotel Dusk: Room 215 on the ds. it's become one of my favorite games! so sick

Utillatub's Spot

11/5/24